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Dear Ryker,

You are four and a half months today and you are turning into a beautiful and joyous baby. I never thought I would be a mommy and then you came along and I was instantly amazed by how quickly I adjusted.  You have completely changed how I view the world and what I want for myself, you and our tiny family. Before you were born I didn’t really know what I wanted in life and didn’t really care to think about it. I went to school because I thought it was the right thing to do, not because I wanted to. I worked minimum wage jobs just to get by. I wasn’t going anywhere and I was okay with that. Now that you are here, I want to be some much more, do so much more. I no longer want to just fly by the seat of my pants or just hope I can make it to the next paycheck. I want you to be proud of me, I want you to be able to go to school and proudly say my Mommy is a Chef or my Mommy is a Marine. I want you to be able to say that I did everything in my power to give you the life you deserve. I want for you to view me as the coolest Mom ever and be excited for your friends to come and meet me. So, I promise you that I will do whatever it takes to do what I can to ensure that you have everything you could ever want or need in life and will always make you proud to have me as a Mommy.